Archive for December, 2012


I really should update more regularly so I can keep track of what Charlie first did when… but today we had a lot of firsts. Charlie had his first train ride on the Christmas train in North Bend because our good friends Sarah & John O’Brien were nice enough to give us their extra ticket and bring us along! It was so fun! Even though it was pissing rain, we still had a great time. Pretty much their whole family was there, singing Christmas carols on the train until we stopped to get off and get in line to see Santa!

That’s another first! Charlie met Santa today. He was pretty indifferent about it. Way better than the shrieking and crying response. He looks really confused in his photo, like he’s thinking, “Why is this a thing?” This world is pretty weird, Charlie, not a lot of it is going to make much sense.


After our awesome holiday ride we went to Joann Fabrics and bought some acrylics and canvases so Charlie could PAINT FOR THE FIRST TIME. Another first! I was thinking, “Hmmm, he can’t really use his hands… unless I want him to ingest a handful of swirly colors…” So, instead, I leaned the canvas against the side of the bathtub, put the paint on the bottom of his feet, and let him kick his way into the artist’s life. We got some interesting results, very modern, very fresh, very innovative. If you end up seeing his work in New York , don’t be surprised, he is starting quite early, it’s not like he can get worse.


Three firsts is a good amount of firsts in one day. We were very tired and slept through the rest of our day’s plans. I’m really starting to feel the weight of being busy with Charlie all the time. It’s a new kind of busy, because, it’s not technically productive work, but it requires full attention 24 hours a day, so it’s work. It feels like sleeping on an air mattress with a slow leak. You think you’re comfortable, or if you’re a little less comfortable maybe you don’t notice because it’s such a gradual decline. Maybe those are the hormones seeping out like an air leak, leaving me to one day wake up on the floor with a backache.

Emmi and Mikey saved my life last night by coming over with a bottle of tequila and some amazing goat cheese and baby wrangling skills. Mikey told Charlie about all the most inane discoveries of our generation, including the Concord plane and 28.8 modems. Charlie fell fast asleep with the Bore-Method© and Emmi gathered more market research for her product patent, “Spray-On Pubes (for babies)” which I’m sure will be a hit on QVC, as soon as all the lawsuits are dropped.

They were great, they read him books, Emmi sang him a song, my brain was barely working but they made it so I didn’t have to do anything, and I was like, “Oh right, people can come over and do this. I should put in more requests.” So we will definitely try to do that more, it was fucking great.

Been feeling weird, like I said, with the hormonal leakage I feel an emotional deflating and it’s really hard to describe. I don’t know if I’m sad, I guess I just feel under-stimulated? Stagnant? A little directionless? But also quite fulfilled and content to be a full-time mom, so it’s a weird paradox. I am applying to some jobs online, still not sure what I’d do for childcare or how I’d afford it, if I actually got a job that took me away from Charlie, but I guess I thought I should look anyway.

Things are going alright, I really need my friends, and some of them are great, and some of them are not so great, and that’s to be expected, and I’m dealing with it day by day… in a slow reveal of what my life as a parent will end up looking like. Pretty basic so far. Lots of eating, sleeping and forcing myself to drive places so that I’m not just in my apartment all day.

People keep asking me if I miss San Francisco, and I’ll save you all some time by putting it on record here, “No, no I do not miss San Francisco.” I really didn’t leave much behind (besides an awesome job + coworkers) but I do miss Jon. He was/is a really good friend and I hope he comes to visit us, cause life is not nearly as fun without him in my area code. Who else can I have an entirely picture-based iPhone text message conversation with? Or eat a million burritos with? And not have to deal with any drama whatsoever with? He is a good one. He better teach Charlie to swim. Now that I’m thinking about it, I do miss Meena and Evan too. I hope they move back to Seattle. I hope Meena becomes Charlie’s dentist. OK, that is all I miss about SF… and the Mexican food… I miss the Mexican food.

OK now I’m just rambling, my brain isn’t all there these days. I think we’re doing OK though. I’m in close contact with Group Health all the time, although my health insurance is about to run out. I think we’re OK. We just have to keep busy! And keep making dates with people. If you want to hang out, TEXT ME! It may take me awhile to get back to you, but I will, and we will hang out, and you will see for yourself why Charlie is the best baby in the whole world… and he may just paint you something. Who knows!


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